The Legoland Times

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LFC Disparage Parma's Jon Voi In Statement To The Press

LEGOLAND CITY-Legoland FC have this morning released a statement to the press condemning Parma owner Jon Voi for comments which they believe “inextricably link their club to hooliganism”. Mr Voi’s released a statement yesterday evening condemning a video being circulated by the Partizan club’s Brix Ultras supporters. The production, entitled "How to be an LFC fan - Educational Video”, depicts violent football fans rioting and attacking members of the security forces. Having observed the video, Mr Voi issued the following statement to the media: "I would be very upset if it's confirmed that Legoland FC actually approves of this video. I understand that SuperLeague fans are passionate but there's a fine line between being passionate figs who proudly support their club and hooligans." READ MORE... | Watch Video

LFC Supremo Hits Out At Fiorentina Owner

LEGOLAND CITY-Legoland FC president Gheorghe Hagi has accused his counterpart at Fiorentina, Ricardo Rico, of being "like a child" and "self-centred". Hagi made the claims to a national audience after personally phoning up Radio Legoland's Figspeak Phone Show. "Mr Rico represents all that is wrong with Legoland football these days, he is a foreign owner and is only involved in football here to further his personal interests and the more sinister interests of his nation's government". Elaborating, Hagi explained that he was of the view that Fiorentina had become a "front for Legañan nationalism" and this was now a "cancer in the game". "I feel sorry for Fiorentina's Legoland fans, they should be angry at the LFA for allowing the sale of their great club to those whose only interest is to further the reputation of a rouge state". READ MORE...

Ricardo Rico Confident Fiorentina Will Bounce Back

LEGANA-The Legñan owner of Fiorentina, Ricardo Rico, has issued a press statement today backing manager Cesare Prandelli and assuring fans that results at the club are set to improve. Following an encouraging start to the season, Fiorentina have struggled to find form of late and are now lying 8th from bottom in Serie A heading into a tricky away tie to Celebs. With their hopes of avoiding relegation still very much alive, Rico added, “The fans knew this season would be a tough one, we are looking to add some financial stability to the club and make sure we are playing Serie A football next year. The fans have been incredibly patient, and I’d like to thank them for their continual support. Without them, the club are nothing.” READ MORE...

LFA Restructure Oldest Cup Tournament In Bid To Resurect Glamour Ties

LEGOLAND CITY-Legoland Football Association president Mr Fifa revealed that his association has approved major changes to the nation's oldest cup competition, the Derby Cup, in a bid to revitalise the much maligned tournament. The cup, which has seen numerous tinkering to its rules and format since the inaugural competition in 1994 will be radically altered from its current state. Last season the perceived 8 biggest local derbies in Legoland kicked off the competition but from this season on only the 8 oldest clubs will participate, and none will have any chance of playing their local derby unless both they and their derby rivals reach the final. READ MORE...

LFA Legalise Betting On SuperLeague Games Amongst Club Owners

LEGGODT-The Legoland Football Association have formally given the green light to the nation’s registered bookmakers to accept bets on SuperLeague games made by or on behalf of owners of the league’s football teams. Speaking in the northern village of Leggodt, LFA president Mr Fifa said the move would “benefit all and sundry, especially those involved in the gambling industry”. Mr Fifa claimed that legalising betting would be best to, as he put it, “prevent corruption from taking hold” in the SuperLeague. Nevertheless, many minifigs from the press expressed their views that football in Legoland remains open to corruption and this move by the football authorities would likely increase the likelihood of illicit activity arising in the nation’s most popular sport. READ MORE...

SuperLeague Fixture To Be Replayed After Criminal Involvement Unearthed

LEGOLAND CITY-Last Saturday week's Serie A meeting between AC Fiorentina and Robin Rangers, which ended in a 9-1 rout of the home team, will be replayed this Wednesday the Legoland Football Association confirmed today. The ruling body’s decision came after LFA officials were briefed by members of the STAMPA secret police. The officials were told how the entire Fiorentina team had been coerced into conceding the goals to facilitate a betting scandal instigated by the nation’s second largest organised crime syndicate, the Hole Heads clan. “Under a direct threat to their life, each member of the Fiorentina playing staff was instructed to ensure their side lost by a margin of at least 7 goals” LFA president Mr Fifa told congregating reporters outside LFA Headquarters. READ MORE...

LFC Fined £10,000 For Legoland Derby Riots

LEGOLAND CITY-Legoland FC have been hit by a £10,000 fine for rioting by supporters of the club both during and leading up to last month's clash with Old Rule rivals Legoland United. Although the club said they would pay the penalty, LFC's Public Relations Officer Daniele Massaro claimed "Legoland United should be fined more". LFC's own fine has however been slammed by a whole host of minifigs and organisations with the general consensus being that the Blues have got off lightly with some prominent politicians suggesting favouritism. Indeed, immediately after the Legoland Football Association president Mr Fifa had announced the punishment, politicians from both the Legoland Communists and the New Brick Order party slammed the severity of the sum involved. READ MORE...

Tennis Legalised By Emperor Despite Being Boring

LEGOLAND CITY-Although agreeing that tennis is "dead boring", the Emperor of the Third Empire has announced the legalisation of the sport. The first tennis club license has been granted to the Beigecourt Tennis Group who will open two tennis courts in Legoland City later this year. Emperor David called the decision to allow tennis "wise" and a "good business opportunity". An editorial in the Sports for Minifigs magazine suggests that tennis has been given the green light because it allows the government tax the sector's income. "Only some wealthy minifigs are expected to play this sport and the government sees the taxation of the tennis clubs as a good way to increase revenue streams to fund the much under-resourced security forces". READ MORE...