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DALAM-Clashes between rioters and the Empire Police in the troubled suburb of Dalam has left at
least 65 police officers injured and dozens of civilians hurt. The violence broke out when
Development Minister Fabulous Ruckus visited the slum to inspect the site of the proposed
new Studbury Hotel. Angry residents from the slum attacked the minister with bricks,
bottles and beer cans before the security forces came to his rescue. “Thank God Lego
‘figs don’t have noses”, he said as he was rushed to safety. Local minifigs justified
acting the maggot because, as they put it, "the government is giving the area a bad name". “We don’t like
these dressed up politicians looking down on us and treating us like scum. It’s ponces
like Ruckus living the high-life in Legoland City who are the real scum” said local gang member Ferocious RIP Brutus.
LEGOLAND CITY-A leaked internal report from the Revenue Commissioners has revealed that the
government are set to increase taxes considerably as the economy contracts and money in the
state’s coffers dwindle. The documents have exposed plans to tax previously untouched areas
of the economy including sporting bodies and city and county councils. Football clubs in
Legoland’s SuperLeague are expected however to face the brunt of it should the taxes be
implemented with TV revenues, ticket sales and player transfers all set to be hit. The news has
incensed many businessfigs with many expressing their anger. "What was the bloody point in legalising slavery if we
have to pay more taxes?" one such grumpy minifig was overheard asking.
LEGOLAND CITY-The nation's top two football sides, Legoland FC and Legoland United, have criticised the set-up of the LEGO European Cup after their shock exit from the competition at the group stage. Angry representatives from both teams said they would be sitting down with the president of the competition’s organisers to “fix flaws” in the cup’s format. According to pundits, both teams have a number of grievances which they will bring to the table. These include the existing allocation of competition places by nation, the current seeding arrangements and the rival LEGO Outer European Cup, a competition which they want scraped from 2009 onwards.
LOUISVILLE-Confiding with reporters whilst on holidays in Louisville, former AC Fiorentina manager Cesare Prandelli explained his decision to
throw in the towel last Saturday and surprised some by pointing the finger of
blame firmly at the door of the club’s Legañan owner Ricardo Rico. Accusing Mr Ricardo of being "stingy" and "lacking ambition", Mr Prandelli expressed his opinion that
the team cannot be saved from relegation to Serie B “even if God was their manager”. Seeing his former minifig players go down to a humiliating club record 9-1
defeat at the hands of relegation candidates Robin Rangers was "simply confirmation of what I suspected", Prandelli told Network Television Legoland. "Mr Ricardo always
harps on about being frugal with his money, fact is his frugality is really just stingy penny-pinching and is not useful in this cut-throat world of Lego football”. He ended the interview by wishing Fiorentina well but confirmed he was “not optimistic”.
News Briefs 2008 (41-45)
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News Briefs 2008 (26-30)
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News Briefs 2008 (16-20)
News Briefs 2008 (11-15)
News Briefs 2008 (06-10)
News Briefs 2008 (01-05)
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