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19 August 2007

Referee Calls For More Protection After Threats

View Photo Database Respected SuperLeague referee Crazy Focus has tonight pleaded to the Legoland Football Association and the Empire Police to crack down hard on hooliganism in the forthcoming football season. The plea came as Mr Focus confirmed that he had received death threats from hardcore supporters of football giants Legoland FC. In a letter sent to the referee's home by the Yellow Heads Ultras, he is threatened with execution should LFC's Old Rule rivals Legoland United win the Derby clash on Sunday 2nd September 2007.

In an open letter to both the LFA and Empire Police, Mr Focus said that Legoland, and not just Legoland football, could not cope with more violent scenes being broadcasted around the world. "If nothing is done to stop these thugs, someday soon world audiences will become utterly disgusted and give up supporting the nation's most famous sides", he said. Despite the authorities implementing, in November of last year, severe new anti-hooliganism measures, which saw the bringing of hand guns into Legoland stadia made illegal, four people still lost their lives at the hands of LFC supporters in recent months.

The nation's media today expressed their concern for the safety of Mr Focus and backed his plea for increasing security at matches. The Castleland daily, The Castle Clan, called on all citizens of the Imperial Republic to "remember 2nd February 2001 and promise not to see it happen again". On that infamous day, match referee Jealous Dickus was murdered along with two football fans in front of a packed stadium of 500 mini-figs whilst officiating the Legoland Derby. Players from both teams were suspected of participating in the killing but no player was ever convicted. Both clubs were however subsequently fined a massive £2.5m.

One voice did hit out at Mr Focus's comments. Former Legoland FC player Daniele Massaro, now the club's Public Relations Officer, criticised Mr Focus for what he deemed as "over-reacting". "LFC fans are not popular because they are the country's best fans. They are not violent, everyone else is just green with envy, especially those intellectually challenged dimwits from Legoland United. In any case, it is my opinion that refs tend to screw up games by making half-brained decisions so a cull in their numbers would be welcome".


Would you lose even a minute's sleep if Mr Focus was killed?





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