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14 December 2007
Police chief, Biggus Piggus, announced today that Mr Fungus had escaped from his force's radar after he was granted 12 hours leave to attend the February 11th Legoland Derby football match. The game, the most famous football game in Lego football, is often attended by all citizens of the nation. Nevertheless, family members of the three policemen shot dead last year have hit out at Mr Piggus's men and accused the Empire Police of being "retards".
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The Legoland Times and The Brick Times © Mr Prints 2006-2008
There is widespread anger today among all walks of Legoland public life after the Empire Police admitted that a key Hole Heads gang member escaped from police custody in February. The criminal, named as Odorus Fungus, was serving a 15 year sentence for possession of drugs, arms and counterfeit banknotes and being a member of an illegal organisation. He was also widely believed to have been involved in the December 2006 slaying of three police officers near Legoland Town, however, in his trial the authorities failed to produce the required substantial evidence.
In an interview with The Legoland Times, Biggus Piggus refuted claims that he or his men are retards. "We sympathise with the families connected to the deceased officers but we cannot find substantial evidence to suggest that we are retards", he said. According to Mr Piggus, the police did not want to scare the public until now. "The only reason we hid the fact that Fungus had escaped was that he is a very dangerous bloke, likely to be armed and dangerous, and everyone seemed happy at the time". But he concluded that "as Christmas time is a good time to spot criminals at the dinner table we felt it is an opportune time to publicise this case".
Do you have to be a retard to be allowed join the police force?
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